I have had enough!

Ok, so I think I have had all I can take with this injury thing that my husband and I have going on. So, I am just going to let it all out here for a minute. This might offend some people and it might make others laugh. I decided before I started this blog that I am not going to apologize for anything that I am about to say.

I am pretty sure I am going through a bit of depression. There are a lot of factors contributing to this so I am not even going to try to blame this on any one thing. I do, however, have to say this: I have had enough! To be honest, there are several things about this that have contributed to me being in the place I am right now. We will start with the obvious: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ON CRUTCHES. I can't cook, clean, get dressed standing up, carry groceries in, carry anything in for that matter, feed my animals, walk my dog, upkeep our lawn, upkeep our house, take out the trash, make the bed, wear normal clothes (and by that I mean anything other than freaking sweat pants that I have LIVED in for the past 2 3/4 months), go ANYWHERE without being stared at the whole time I am there, and most of all I can't go shopping. What's the one thing a girl needs when she is depressed? I will go ahead and answer that for you-Ben and Jerry's and shopping. Neither of which I can accomplish without help.

Which brings me to my next point-I have had enough of asking for help. There is only so long that a person can go without being able to do anything on their own before it starts to eat away at their ego. Supposedly on this Tuesday, I will be able to start bearing some weight on my right leg for the first time since surgery 6 weeks ago. Even then, I will have to work my way off of crutches. I will be able to walk with both crutches for a few days, eventually converting to walking with one crutch, and finally walking on my own. Two weeks ago I got my hopes up that I would already be through this process because the dr. tells me that I would be able to walk in 4-6 weeks. Apparently he didn't really mean the 4- part of the 4-6 weeks and really all along meant the 6 week mark. It gets old after a while having to say every other sentence, " Hey, would you mind..." or, "Hey when you get a minute, could you...." People have got to be sick of helping us as much as we are sick of asking. Our poor friends have taken the brunt of our injury and I feel so bad for anyone that knows us and we are comfortable with right now because they have truly been punching overtime on their friend cards.

To go along with the asking every 5 seconds for help, I think I have had about all I can take of the pet names that people so graciously have come up with for Chad and myself. I think if I have to hear the words, clutz, clumsy, gimp, or gimpy ever again, I will scream. I don't know why people after 11 weeks since my injury still feel the need to call me Gimp or Gimpy, but I think I am going to punch the next person that I hear say those words. Ha, ha, ha, laugh, laugh, laugh, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle...WE GET IT. Along with that, let me clear something up for the world-NO, MY HUSBAND AND I DID NOT GET IN AN ACCIDENT TOGETHER, NO, WE DID NOT GET MAD AT EACH OTHER AND BEAT EACH OTHER UP, AND NO, WE DO NOT SIT AROUND AND GET ANGRY WITH EACH OTHER AND FIGHT WITH OUR CRUTCHES WHEN WE GET MAD. I hope I have eased everyone's curiosity with those three grueling questions that seem to weigh on every person's mind and come out of their mouth with a half smile and a chuckle when we cross someone's path.

The last thing that is really getting to me is that everyone and their mom (including my own) seems to feel the need to be sure that Chad and I are finished playing sports for the rest of our lives. Never again will we play sports for the fear of getting hurt ever again...yeah right. How ridiculous can people be? I get that we aren't getting any younger-thanks for that reminder-but that doesn't mean that our lives have to stop. We are still in our 20's. There are professional athletes that are older than us that if they got hurt, they would get better and go right out there and play again. There are college athletes that we personally know that have had the same surgeries multiple times because they go out and keep playing. If I were in college and tore my ACL and meniscus, would my mom have asked me to stop playing and forfeit my scholarship money? No, she would not have. But since I am not young anymore (thanks for the reminder world) we are supposed to give up everything we love. My boss even asked me to quit playing sports in my free time. So, does that mean that everyone else that I work with has to cut out their recreational activities (and we won't go into what some of those are!)? Why just me? Because I got hurt for the first time in 28 years of playing sports?

And I wonder why I am depressed.

I do want to take a second, however, to say thank you to all of our friends and some family that have been punching that card overtime lately. We have some wonderful people in our lives that have been so kind as to go grocery shopping for us, cook us meals, go with us out to eat and get stared at along with us, tend to our lawn, help feed and give water to our animals, and clean our house. I have to say that I can't imagine what my state of mind would be without our wonderful friends and family. You guys have truly been a blessing to us and you still help us every time we ask for help and you do it with a smile on your face. I am sure we still have months and months of the, " Hey, would you mind..." or, "Hey when you get a minute, could you....".